Waiting for happiness

It seems really silly to put your life on hold for some potential future happiness that might never come, if it were any one of my friends I'd tell them to stop being so stupid. 

But that's exactly what I keep doing really, because I love someone that just can't happen, and in my head I feel like I'd rather wait forever for that than try find something similar with someone else. 

It just seems so unlikely, I have basically loved this girl since we were dumb kids, and it keeps almost working out but not quite. 

And sure I should take that as a sign, or take my own advice about not being with people who need to he convinced to be with you. 

But it's just so different, and nice just enough of the time that it's hard to forget.

Anyway just needed to do the 3:15am vent, because of all my dumb feelings.