Future Me

 So course is still going well, I am on placement with the Salvation Army in their Reintegration Service which is essentially helping clients who are leaving prison after a sentence of more than two years to find their feet in society again.  This mostly means finding jobs, housing, setting up accounts etc

It is a really interesting placement to get really, and lets me use some of my personal experience, so I am actually quite lucky in that regard.

So assuming I get all of my hours done and pass the last few assessments the game plan is to graduate mid-December, and then I will be moving back to Dunedin to continue my studies, three more years of this stress just so that I can be a registered counsellor.

But it does mean I'll get to see all of my Dunedin people who I absolutely adore, and I will hopefully be moving in to an amazing house with some people I have already lived with before so that will actually be fantastic.

Everything feels like it could actually work out, which is awesome and gives me that bright shiny glow of optimism that I feel like I have been missing a little bit this year.

I'm still more tired than I would like, some days its really hard to get up, or focus on the things I need to.

So I am hoping I can do something about that soon too, because I'd be unstoppable if I could get that under control.

I keep meeting amazing people, and sharing amazing moments, and it actually sucks that I won't be seeing some of these people so much for a few years.

So if you're reading this, I love you, and I won't ever forget you hehe

Love.
Abigail

Goals For The Detained

I haven't written anything here in quite some time, so I thought I would try and outline some goals just to keep me motivated while I am forced to stay at home.
There is a bit of a tendency to feel worthless when you are unemployed, and to be trapped at home with really minimal socialisation even more so... so what are we going to do to keep the pep in my step?

One of my major goals for the year is to lose some weight, I have gained a lot since starting hormones and essentially lounging around in bed for a year feeling sorry for myself.
But I got an exercycle and for the most part I have been sticking to doing it every day.
Right now I am 91kg, and the goal is to get to around 75-80 somewhere.
This will become important at some future point for surgical recovery times.

I also want to quit smoking, it's the worst drug to be addicted to, and even though I know for a fact I can live without nicotine since I had to when I was in prison, that doesn't actually make it a simple thing when you are out in the world and can readily obtain cigarettes.
Does that mean I am a weak willed slug... yes... so I need to come up with a game plan to overcome that.

I need a job... but its EXTRA difficult when I need to explain my gender identity, and my criminal convictions.... like the already slim pickings in my home town get a lot slimmer once you factor those things in.  Especially given the ultra conservative mindsets of people around here.
If I don't have anything within the next few weeks I am going to HAVE to do something like online transcription just to try and get some income happening.

I want to write more often, I have ALL this time lately and I am wasting it playing video games and watching Netflix.  I have some ideas to write my life story since it really has been just a series of near misses and stupid decisions.  I feel like somebody somewhere should benefit from it.

So what else has been happening with me since it has been months since I last updated?

Well I have my official legal name change now, unfortunately updating the gender marker on my birth certificate is slightly harder so that needs to happen later.  But I have been running around updating my name with all the other crucial day to day things... its quite a struggle when you're essentially grovelling for permission to update gender marker even though my birth certificate says Male.

I didn't get into the counselling class I wanted this year due to my conviction, but I may be able to study again next year.  Kind of a downer, but I will be okay.

Anyway I guess that's kinda all the important updates really, you now know roughly as much as I do about my current existence.

Love,
Abigail