Waiting for happiness

It seems really silly to put your life on hold for some potential future happiness that might never come, if it were any one of my friends I'd tell them to stop being so stupid. 

But that's exactly what I keep doing really, because I love someone that just can't happen, and in my head I feel like I'd rather wait forever for that than try find something similar with someone else. 

It just seems so unlikely, I have basically loved this girl since we were dumb kids, and it keeps almost working out but not quite. 

And sure I should take that as a sign, or take my own advice about not being with people who need to he convinced to be with you. 

But it's just so different, and nice just enough of the time that it's hard to forget.

Anyway just needed to do the 3:15am vent, because of all my dumb feelings. 

What time is it? Where am I?

So I recently started working as a residential support worker at a rehab center, and it comes with lots of night shifts.

It's a really strange thing to adjust to, sleeping during the day, awake all night and a weekend that happens on Wednesday/Thursday/Friday.

So I am feeling the loneliness a bit, since most people aren't available when I am anymore, even virtually really. 

I've moved to a new town, kiiinda have a room that works, and the job is actually amazing.  But I do miss my people, I made so many awesome friends last year. 

Such is life, I'm sure I'll perk up once I start getting paid properly.  And I'm visiting my home town on Wednesday to probably fall asleep on my hair dresser, and catch up with some people.